It's not time to beg people their attention or sympathy about my love story. No, it's not. I'm just re-telling this story because I think it's sweet and it's real! It's not like the love story that you see in the movie, and they live happily ever after! Uh-uh, no! My love story is authentic, I am the producer. I was thinking that people made movie because they couldn't plan their life in a way that they want to. They have this love story, they broke up, but this man doesn't want to see what is real then using their imagination they put it into a film and yeah, again I'm forced to say at the end - They life happily ever after!
But not with mine. So I sent this man a letter ( gosh, this was insane - i always be the one who was asked, who answered, who took the control), to be honest I am a shy. I don't know why it was a letter, I guess because I love writting, it's the only way I can think "carefully". The letter was about, you are this distinction man, oh how I love to see you and all. For the first three weeks or less I kept it my self. I didn't tell best friends, roommate or people who I can trust. Because I consciously know it's crazy, it's out of somebody mine and I, myself felt retarded for a period of time about that freaking more than one thousand words love letter.
I actually not this kind of girl who can contain her feeling by herself. Then, after 3 weeks keeping it my self, first I told my bestfriend, and she said I were crazy, but she loves the letter. Then come my roomates and my secondi. They basically said it was so adorable. So, here is the story, I sent this to all my close friends in UWC to update them - I changed the name - so I won't be obvious...
Goosh! I finally cried like hell it was about 6.30 - so after I went to Ples carrying my yearbook, because I wanted him to write something for me. They were taking picture at Ples balcony. After they finished he stopped in front of me and said "Hello.." after that "Hi, do you want to write something on my yearbook?" I don't remember he said something like "What gotta do.. What to do..." I wasn't listening so well. At that time I was carrying my diary, when I was giving it to him it was shown, he was sort of taking my diary, he thought maybe it had something to do with writing. Then I went to Earth's room to give the diary, then Sne shouted Rut He wrote it. Then we went back to Fore, and in the Piazza it was so full - I was surprised that I hear he was about to leave and then something happened xxxx . THEN he ran somewhere, I heard some people said that xxxxx. Then I suddenly cried I went back to my room and cried than I met Ligia then I cried with her than, because I was so loud Sne came. Then Sne asked, why the hell I cried - I was so sad. Then no he hasn't left yet, I just went from Ples, he was xxxx. He is leaving soon, you should catch him, said goodbye. I was trembling like hell. Then I went to Piazza with all my laziness and optimistically go front go back and yeah I managed to go to Mickey. I was just standing hmm about a meter behind him as you know, I was so fucking sad and nervous. Then people were hugging him, and I still couldn't move. A minute before the bus came, he was kind of heading to Mickey and said to random people "Do you guys want ice cream, I'll go and grab ice cream" but not to me. When he was heading, then the bus came, somebody was hugging him and I still didn't, when after xxxx did, I did, I hugged him and said " I LOVE YOU xxxx" and I think he said something like take care, but I didn't hear again, then yeah. wooooooooooooooo God! And yeah I just saw him in the bus from outside. Then we walked back to Fore I cried again and Sne told me that, he said "We'll see each other" I don't remember, but I was so happy tough. I never said, I love you before to a man, not even my ex boyfriend. And yeah Ilana, I decided to bring his pants back home, but I couldn't find the basketball costume = ) Hate it! I will fix it latter. And you know what he wrote me ... "Rut you are an amazing person, keep doing what you are doing, I have to write this really fast because I got a flight to catch" HIM. Oh, it's the end! But I am so happy and I didn't regret anything that I did, even to send the letter, that was cool actually, because it was kind of a summary how I think about him if I could have spent time with him and be friends. And I regret something that I didn't manage to take picture with all the xxx, because I was once at Mensa and saying how if we took a picture of the xxxx and it would be nice for our website and public relation. But I just didn't give a shit because i thought it was just chewing a rack. Otherwise, I could have had his pictures. And Sne told me maybe I was just to shy, because I missed a lot of things and chances. But guys thank you so much, without you I might not have told him that I l was the one who wrote the letter and my feeling toward him. I will be missing our laughter, craziness, jokes and all. I hope you have a really great summer. ♥ Rut xxxxxxxxxxxx
This is the reality. That the guys you craved for didn't say I LOVE YOU back nor kiss you on the lips, but he did say "We'll see each other" which was a really nice reply from someone who just knew somebody was crazy about him two days before he left. This what make life different with movies. The ending wasn't like in the Notebook, the guy replied the letter then say "IT'S NOT OVER" then they made love - no, it's not! The ending was, he did read the letter, and maybe he already threw it to the rubbish bin.
Well I don't know what to say anymore. But all this reality really made me grown up! I used to be so childish and think that love is the boy who had to move first, I will always be in the position who say Yes/No (which I probably still think like that) - but I think I'm changing. Again, talking about the ending, I don't live happily ever after with him, but it was fine, that's life, that's reality not MOVIE!